Kurt Elling - Steppin' Out (2011)

When I am supposed to be doing homework...I blog...I write this short one right now because twice this week my sister and I have had these interesting conversations about men...In a blog entitled "the makings of me" from 2 years ago I shared how I believed I was made ...beyond the obvious God, creation, womb birth piece that are the facts...we talked about fashion, clothing, self-esteem and making babies in particular the beautiful one I have now...he's 8. 

I shared in detail that growing up without mother and stepmother in and then kinda back out, my twin sister and I became "sophisticated ladies" through conversations on pay phones and fake calling cards about what we learned about fashion from her days matriculating at Xavier University there in New Orleans and me there at Skegee. For women (until we change it for our daughters) it starts with what's on the outside and then goes inside.

Friends, roommates and confiidantes can tell you we got it right sometimes and sometimes we got it wrong.  Through all of it my sister and I had each other and now with those 20+ years behind us we still confer and consult on the "makings of me".  Her "me" and my "me", the essence of who we are ...today.  What's funny is...it doesn't stop here today; it evolves, but it is what I call a "living evolution".  You have to grow, watch yourself grow and then somehow in real time be that "grown up". Crazy, right...I wish I could sit on the couch and watch that "fool" figure it out...oh yeah that fool is me :).

When it comes to the subject of men, my sister and I are possibly teaching (2%chance)...but for sure learning however like the scientist she is and the "reluctant" scientist I am we are designing experiments, observing, asserting hypothesis and drawing conclusions.  Accurate or inaccurate we go from one day to the next thinking as my friend Maronzio Vance, puts it "one day it will all make sense".  In the meantime to my sister I just say..."I got you babe".

As these experiences come and go with men, it becomes material that I FICTIONALIZE beyond recognition and then distill and sift again into my work as I know most writers do.  I use the term "come and go" because neither of us beautiful girls is married or with a final partner or a perceived "final" partner and as I look around and listen to girlfriends new and lasting...we are all in a very big boat together.  When they thought a Tsunami might make it to our West Coast shores, there were for me...for none of us big shoulders to lean on...I called my Dad asking him "why hadn't he called me?" (From Alabama he knows our crises before I know our crises)

At first I panicked and then I accepted this part of my journey as that "this part of my journey" the "living evolution" for which we can place great faith in the change that is always coming. Bear in mind ...we don't know what it looks like until actually gets here...be open and liberal (I am striving).

I post Kurt Elling because his voice...his presence in the world instigates and inspires me to write...anything and everything (blogs, homework and the stuff in between)...the power of music can never be underestimated nor should it ever be measured...the power of music to heal and make whole is beyond measure...

This blog is dedicated to one of my besties, Breuna Baine and the long conversation we wrapped just about 2 hours ago...it is also love letter to everyone in the boat with me...however one feels about the circumstance...thank God for the company...